FAQs

What is a men’s group?

A men’s group simply that - a group of men who meet regularly for one reason or another. The aim of our groups is provide a space for men to get real, talk about what’s really going on - at their own pace - and shift from just ‘coping’ with life to living a joyful, connected, creative life.

Why is it a “MenSpeak” men’s group? Are there other men’s groups?

MenSpeak men’s groups were founded by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz, and have their own format and structure which is similar to some men’s groups and different to others. There are lots of men’s groups around the world, each with their own way of operating and purposes.

Who runs it?

It was founded by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz and he facilitates most of the men’s groups. Some groups are facilitated by graduates of Kenny’s MenFacilitate training program.

How many men have done this before?

MenSpeak has been around since 2000, and there are several closed groups and several open groups per month, each with a half a dozen or so men per group, so hundreds, maybe thousands!

Why have I not heard of it before?

As a small self-funded team we don't have the resources to advertise. Kenny has been running the groups on his own and only since about 2016 started to enlist help in scaling and spreading MenSpeak (men’s mental health and suicide issues wasn’t as trendy as it is today.)

Why should I come to a men’s group?

You might:

  • be isolated and miss the company of other men
  • have outgrown your old friends or life
  • be purpose-less or lacking in passion
  • have relationship or boundary issues

Men’s groups can help you with all of the above and more. They’re a place where you can step back from the pressure of day-to-day life, talk about what’s really going on, be heard and listened to, and live beyond old limiting patterns into a bigger, better life.

Is it a support group or therapy group?

It is not a support group, even though there is support, and it’s not a therapy group, even though it can be therapeutic. Our aim is to create a space where men are heard and empower them to move forward in their lives making better choices. We don’t force anything on anyone - support, therapy, or anything else. We don’t think men need ‘fixing’, they need a place where they can let go of who they no longer need to be, making space for who they might be.

How does a typical men’s group go? What do you talk about?

First, we sit in a circle. Then, the facilitator will ask if you’ve read the ground rules, and if you have anything you wish to add, change or take away. Once that’s settled, we have two minutes silence to leave our day at the door and get present. 

Next is the check-in round, where we answer a list of questions (though you can say “Pass” at any time) to get the basics out of the way (name, age, status etc.) and get a feel for where a person is at and what they’re looking for from the group.

Then we will usually find a common thread among what was spoken about during the check-in - for example, feeling stuck in one’s career, or relationship issues. We’ll delve deeper into that topic, sharing our personal successes and failures, enabling us all to make more informed choices. The group can cover lots of diverse issues in a session, some deep, some funny, generally insightful and empowering.

Finally, we have two minutes silence to end, and then we go home!

I want to run my own men’s group. How do I do that?

Check out our MenFacilitate page.

How many people are at each group?

Typically between 4-8, though sometimes more, sometimes less.

What ages are they?

Usually 30s-50s, though it changes a lot. Recently we’ve been having quite a lot of 20 somethings and we enjoy the company of older men too.

Why aren’t the groups free?

The cost is for your attendance at the group, not just to pay for the rent of the room and our IT and PR expenses, but also the time and expertise of your facilitator. For example, Kenny has 20 years experience facilitating men's groups, so groups held by graduates of the MenFacilitate training are cheaper than Kenny’s.

We are currently self-funded and we are looking into becoming a charity so we can empower people to take men's groups into their communities and charge whatever they want to, if indeed they decide to charge at all.

Check out our video to see what goes on and hopefully you’ll see it’s more than 'just a chat' 

We also have concession rates, and we ask people to get in touch even if they can’t afford that so that no one’s excluded for financial reasons.

Why is it men only?

Kenny has held both mixed and single sex groups, and he’s found that there’s generally more depth and honesty in single sex groups. 

We support mixed groups and women’s groups, but our aim is to empower men and that’s what we give our energy to.

Are trans people allowed?

Yes, anyone who identifies as male is welcome.

Is there any touching or nudity? Is it a sexual thing?

The only touching that happens is a handshake and perhaps a hug among friends. There is no nudity and it’s not a sexual thing.

Is MenSpeak a religious organisation?

No, we are open to all, with and without organised religious faiths.

What will it do for my family?

A happier man makes for a better life for those around him. In fact, some men have turned up to the groups with their partner’s strong encouragement. We’ve heard feedback that men become more present, more stable, more loving, and better contributors to society from attending groups.

Is there a hidden agenda?

No. It's not religious, political, cultish or anything like that. The agenda is to empower men to live better lives and we share our tools to enable them to do so. Some men love the community and take part for years on end, some pick up their tools and simply move on.

Is anybody going to try and make me do stuff that feels uncomfortable?

No. There is only talking and listening in the group, and you are under no pressure to speak if you don’t want to. You can simply say “Pass” at any stage.

Will I have fun?

Yes! Turns out that hanging out and getting real with good men is a lot of fun, and there’s generally a lot of laughter in the groups.

"I think groups like this are hugely important, for men particularly, because there are so few other outlets for men to open up and talk frankly about their feelings without fear of embarrassment or being judged."

Chris Sheldon, Arboriculturist

"In the first group I attended, I was able to vocalise negative thoughts and feelings that I had been internalising for months, and felt a weight on my mind immediately starting to shift. I felt supported, respected, and challenged to become a better person."

Jamie Rudman, Public Health Professional

"I got into mens groups after reading 'No More Mr Nice Guy' by Robert Glover. I feel like I've transitioned from a boy to man thanks to MenSpeak. Through it I've discovered purpose, passion, and my closest friends."

Bertie, 27

"I joined MenSpeak to share my life challenges during my separation from my ex-wife. I needed someone to listen as I felt I had no one to really turn to in a time of need. And this program saved my life. Literally."

John D, Computer Programmer 

"I built an invaluable social network of great men and friends to share, connect and learn with. The groups have helped me become a better and authentic man, husband and father. The groups are priceless to help navigate the ups and downs of personal and professional life."

"I wish MenSpeak was available to me from teenage years. I have definitely been saved from experiencing enduring labels and problems that would have been labelled as "mental health problems."