Some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) and answers about MenSpeak men's groups.

<strong>What is a men’s group?</strong>

A men’s group simply that: a group of men who meet regularly for one reason or another. Our groups provide a space for men to get real, talk about what’s really going on at their own pace, and shift from just coping with life to living a joyful, connected, creative life.

<strong><strong>What makes MenSpeak men’s groups so special?</strong></strong>

Over the years, we’ve been told there’s a unique, unfussy and "bullsh*t free” beauty to MenSpeak. Since the beginning, it’s been about getting decent guys, who are open-minded and want to better themselves, and to come together to do just that. 

<strong>Who runs MenSpeak?</strong>

MenSpeak was founded by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz in the year 2000. Having seen how much of a positive impact it’s had on the men in attendance, as well as their families and communities, he now runs MenSpeak with a handful of colleagues who share his mission to create a world where all men live life by their truth. It was founded by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz and he facilitates most of MenSpeak men’s groups. Some groups are facilitated by graduates of Kenny’s MenFacilitate training program.

<strong>Why should I come to a men’s group?</strong>

Many men who attend initially think, “I know I have problems but they’re really first world issues and I don’t need therapy”. Well, MenSpeak isn’t therapy.

Instead, you may feel

  • feel lost, isolated or lonely and want connection
  • have relationship issues and want to improve or change relationships
  • lack self-confidence
  • you are a fraud who might be found out
  • you're un-loveable or there’s something wrong with you
  • you’ve outgrown your old friends or life
  • want change or improve your work situation
  • your life isn’t leading anywhere and needs more purpose or direction.

Whatever it is, men’s groups are a place where you can step back from the pressure of day-to-day life, talk about what’s really going on, be heard and listened to, and live beyond old limiting patterns into a bigger, better life.

<strong>Is it a support group or therapy group?</strong>

This is definitely not a replacement for therapy. In fact, many men who come also see coaches or therapists too.

Some men do come to MenSpeak and find the non-clinical space where people don’t look to fix, but simply provide a listening ear and share personal experiences, extremely refreshing and helpful.

MenSpeak men's groups are not support groups, even though there is support, and they not a therapy group, even though it can be therapeutic.

We create spaces where men are heard and empower them to move forward in their lives, making better choices. We don’t force anything on anyone - support, therapy, or anything else. We don’t think men need fixing. They need a place where they can let go of who they no longer need to be, making space for who they might be.

<strong>What happens at a MenSpeak men's group?</strong>

Check out our Check-In, Open Group and Closed Group pages for specific info. All men's groups generally follow the same principle:

Six to eight of us gather in a circle if meeting in person, or online. The facilitator will ask if you’ve read the ground rules, and if you have anything you wish to add, change or take away. Once that’s settled, we have two minutes silence to leave our day behind and get present. 

Next is the check-in round, where we answer a list of questions (though you can say “pass” at any time) to get the basics out of the way (name, age, status etc.) and get a feel for where a person is at and what they’re looking for from the group.

Then, we will usually find a common thread among what was spoken about during the check-in. For example, feeling stuck in one’s career, or relationship issues. We’ll delve deeper into that topic, sharing our personal successes and failures, enabling us all to make more informed choices. The group can cover lots of diverse issues in a session, some deep, some funny, generally insightful and empowering.

Finally, we have two minutes silence to end, and then we go home!

<strong>Who typically <strong>attends</strong></strong> a men's group<strong>?</strong>

Typically, there are between five to eight men aged thirty to fifty years old in the group. Sometimes the groups can be bigger and, recently, we’ve been having quite a lot of 20 somethings and we enjoy the company of older men too. Whatever you age or background, everyone who comes is open and accepting of our ground rules and up for exploring themselves!

<strong>Why is it men only?</strong>

All stats and studies point towards two main things. Generally, men aren’t great are dealing with our own mental health and we find it difficult to open up to partners, mates or professionals.

Our founder has also held both mixed and single sex groups and he’s found that there’s more depth and honesty in single sex groups.

We absolutely support mixed groups and women’s groups, but based on both experience and studies, we believe men only groups gives us the best chance to help as many men as possible become better human beings!

<strong>Are trans people allowed?</strong>

Yes, anyone who identifies as male is welcome.

<strong>Is there any touching or nudity? Is it a sexual thing?</strong>

The only touching that happens is a handshake and perhaps a hug among friends. There is no nudity and it’s not a sexual thing.

<strong>Is anybody going to try and make me do stuff that feels uncomfortable?</strong>

No. There is only talking and listening in the group, and you are under no pressure to speak if you don’t want to. You can simply say “pass” at any stage.

<strong><strong>Is MenSpeak a religious organisation?</strong></strong>

No, we are open to all men, with and without organised religious faiths.

<strong>Is there a hidden agenda?</strong>

No. MenSpeak is not a religious, political, cult-ish or anything like that. We just want men to live better lives and we share our tools to enable them to do so. Some men love the community and take part for years on end. Others pick up tools and simply move on.

<strong>Why aren’t the groups free?</strong>

Whilst MenSpeak isn’t a for-profit organisation in the typical, we don’t think it’s sensible to have grand plans for an organisation like ours to grow whilst running at a loss!

All money that comes in goes towards basic things like rent, IT, PR/marketing, admin expenses and subsidising facilitator fees.

Kenny has 20 years experience facilitating men's groups and all groups held by graduates have been on the MenFacilitate training programmes.

Ultimately, finding, holding and running spaces for men to better themselves takes a lot of time, skill and energy so your money goes towards ensuring the quality of the groups remain as high as possible!

Check out our video to see what goes on and hopefully you’ll see it’s more than 'a chat’.

And if you’re really struggling financially, we have concession rates. We really don’t want anyone to feel excluded because of money.

<strong>I want to run my own men’s group. How do I do that?</strong>

Ooh that is exciting! Check out our MenFacilitate page for more info on how we can pass our tools over to you 🙂

<strong><strong>I need to speak to my partner about this. What’s in it for them?</strong></strong>

A happier man makes for a better life for those around him. In fact, some men have turned up to the groups with their partner’s strong encouragement. Others come worried they may betray their loved ones by talking about them.

We’ve found that men who come and really open up about things they struggle with in the outside world, become more present, more stable, more loving, and better contributors to society.

<strong><strong>It all feels quite serious, can we still have fun?</strong></strong>

Hell yes! Turns out that hanging out and getting real with good men is a lot of fun, and there’s generally a lot of laughter in the groups. Just because the work is serious, it doesn’t mean we have to take ourselves so seriously.